Ninjas and Video Cameras: Drabbles
by Usami-Sensei
Summary: "Deidara, get that camera out of my face!" When Ninjas use electronics. "Papa, say something!" In this world Naruto still has parents and Kyuubi is his brother, Sasuke and Itachi kind of get along? "You're grounded." Funny stories about the Ninjas themselves vlogging. "Who put mayonnaise in my shampoo?" Pranking, sexy videos, and- what could be better? YAOI-ish. BoyxBoy. Drabbles.


**Disclaimer:** Obviously, I do not own Naruto TT~TT

**Usami-sensei: I think I wrote this when I first started out on fanfiction but I decided to rewrite it and put it up. This is just for good laughs and fun, that's why they're so short. I'm gonna do different characters having a video camera but lets start out with my favorite shark teeth hotty, Suigetsu Hozuki. Kyuubi and Naruto are brothers in this, and they have electronics, but they're still ninjas.  
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**_Warnings:_ **Random. Parody. **Shounen-ai. **Not-Canon. OOCness.**  
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_**Suigetsu being weird?**_

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**3:00-Am**

Suigetsu is a lean-built young man of average height, straight white hair with a light-blue tint to it and purple eyes, and like all members of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist pointed teeth with one of which sticks out even when his mouth is closed. He wears a purple, sleeveless shirt with blue pants, sandals and a belt around his waist with water bottles attached to it.

It was three in the morning and he was bored so he decided to upload a video to their fan-site, **TakaSexiness**.

"So, it's three in the morning at the Taka hide out right now and everybody is asleep… I think." Suigetsu grinned, staring into the camera and then slapped his cheeks to wake himself up a bit more.

"Oh! Guys look what I got!" Suigetsu bent down, grabbed something off the floor and then waved a stuff doll around.

"This is my Itachi-san plush. Sasuke doesn't know that I have this so shush~" Suigetsu put his finger on his lips, snickering. "I got it from um... this guy... Kakuzu! Yeah, and he was selling stuff for the Akatsuki a while ago." He nodded. "I got this from him, he sure made me pay a lot though." He frowned, pursing his lips and then went back to talking about his plushie.

"Isn't it sexy. Some times I pair it up with my Deidara plush and they have plushie sex hehe~" Suigetsu pulls out his Deidara plushie with a smirk on his face.

"Look it's like this, _ooh Itachi it feels so good_ and then Itachi's like, _yeah I know._" Suigetsu mimicked the two's voices as he put the dolls in a sexual position.

It was dark, but he had a lamp on next to him.

"A-aaha! Anyway, enough of that." Suigetsu threw the plushies on the floor and he looked around when he heard Karin snoring from her room. His eye brows furrowed and he groaned in irritation.

"That bitch Karin is snoring right now a usual and she wonders why Sasuke doesn't like her. Well, there's more than that reason." Suigetsu set the camera down by his laptop and started typing on the keys, the camera having a perfect angle on his upper body.

"Yo, I just watched random episodes of any hentai I could find. I'm such weirdo hehe." Suigetsu mumbled more to himself, chuckling lightly.

"I mean it was rape through the whole first few episodes. I can't believe I watched twenty minutes of rape." Suigetsu took a sip of water, shaking his head in disappointment.

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**...**

"It's like four o clock and this is the time that Sasuke is sleep talking." Suigetsu picked up his camera and strolled into that certain Uchiha's room.

"He's sleep right now but he's talking about something hehe! He's always talking about something at this time, like last time he was yelling at Itachi about shampoo or.. I don't know." Suigetsu whispered as he turned on Sasuke's room light and walked over to the bed.

Sasuke was sprawled out with one hand up his shirt, exposing his flat, toned stomach. His inky-black hair was in his face and messy at that; the white haired male then directed the camera at Sasuke's beautiful, pale face.

"Aw, isn't he cute!... No. He's drop dead sexy, right! Yo if I got caught right now I'd be dead." Suigetsu zoomed in on the Uchiha's pale face.

"...Nh.. N-Naruto.." Sasuke turned over as he mumbled things in his sleep.

"I don't know who this Naruto is but he's always dreaming about this person." Suigetsu made his way towards the door and walked out the room, turning the light off as he did so.

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"I was thinking about going into Jugo's room …but no, I will not set myself up like that, that is suicide." Suigetsu sat back down in front of his laptop that was on a table.

"So when we came back from one of Madara's missions yesterday the hide out was painted red." Suigetsu looked around the room, eying the color on the walls.

"I asked Sasuke why the hide out was red and he said I don't know and I'm like well you're the only one who's running shit so… what the fuck." He scratched his head.

"Here's something you may not know about me. I'm color blind so I can't tell the difference between red and violet, so the the hide out could be violet right now and I don't even know Hahaha." Suigetsu started laughing, drinking down some water from his water bottle.

"I'll have to ask someone.. or I could take the video camera outside but it's too fucking scary and dark out there." Suigetsu pulled the covers around him as he sat back in the chair. "Not that I'm scared of the dark!" He laughed, nervously staring in the camera.

"There's a white rapist that waits in the forest out side the hide out, his name is Zetsu and well he's half black too, but he's always saying stuff like _you should let me get inside you_ or some shit. He's creepy weird, no shit." Suigetsu suddenly put kitty ears on his head.

"I'm kind of kidding but who would want to rape someone wearing this haha~." Suigetsu laughed as he fixed his kitty ears. "Would you rape someone wearing kitty ears? I would." He gasped, covering his mouth and then narrowed his eyes.

"I'm weird as you can tell."

"Geez, I'm so hungry." Suigetsu got up and took the video camera with him.

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Suigetsu sat at the table, looking at his laptop and eating frozen yogurt, and then he heard the bathroom door close.

"I think Sasuke's up. He's probably taking a morning piss right now!" Suigetsu put his yogurt down and picked up his camera before running down the hallway and stood out side the bathroom door.

"I can hear him peeing, like, you know when you can hear it hitting the toilet water. I know I'm weird." Suigetsu stood stood there snickering, listening to his team mate take the longest piss ever.

"This dude is still peeing, damn, how much water did he drink before bed?"

Suigetsu then got startled when he heard the toilet flush and the sink water running.

"Oh crap, he's done!" Suigetsu hid his camera and the Uchiha strolled out the bathroom, drying his hands on a paper towel.

"Suigetsu, what are you doing?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, staring at the white haired man when he spotted him.

"I was um …waiting to use the bathroom." Suigetsu said, sheepishly with a toothy grin.

"Hn. Whatever." The Uchiha's dark eyes then glanced up and gazed at the kitty ears atop of Suigetsu's hair. There was a silent and awkward pause before Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he stared at Suigetsu.

. . . (-_-'

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Sasuke furrowed his brows.

"Oh these... it's an exper..iment." He gave a nod and the Uchiha blinked a few times before trotting down the corridor.

Suigetsu put the camera up to his face and smirked into the camera. "Okay, I'm tired now, so good night guys!"

_**...**_

_**~TBC~**_

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_**Characters to Vlog Next: **_

_**1# **Sasuke_

_**2# **Neji_

_**3# **Deidara_

_**4: **Gaara_

_**Which one?**_

**Usami-sensei: This had to be the weirdest, randomest fanfic I've ever written but I wanted to see what you guys would think about it. (I was kinda childish when I wrote this) Another story I deleted a while ago was, **_To catch a predator_** but an anime version and Itachi was catching pedophiles. LMAO I still have that saved on my computer too, but tell me what you think of this. BTW if you don't know what To Catch a Predator is type it in on Youtube and you'll see ^0^  
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